Here’s a checklist of intimacy on a working level according to Dr. Virgina Satir, pioneer family therapist
When both of you can ask for what you want instead of waiting for the other one to offer it.
When both can say what you see and hear instead of “what you should”.
When you feel what you feel instead of worrying if it’s the right feeling.
When you take steps in your own behalf instead of always trying to keep the status quo.